MLS Fails to Play-Dead in Semifinals; Mex teams Respond with Punches

After the New England Revolution (MLS) beat Atlante (FMF) last night in a SuperLiga semifinal, Atlante behaved even worse and picked an even bigger fight than Pachuca did when they lost to the Houston Dynamo in the other semifinal, Tuesday night. It’s inexcusable that a Mexican (or any) side would do this after one of the semifinal matches, but that it happened after both is ridiculous! Soccer broadcaster and blogger, Kartik Krishnaiyer, has an interesting (albeit somewhat objectionable) analysis of why it happened.

BREAKING: Blanco suspended for 2 yrs from US Open Cup

The US Soccer Federation adjudication and discipline panel has ruled that the Chicago Fire’s DP and leading man, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, has been banned for 2 years from US Open Cup play as punishment for his conduct at the July 8 quarterfinal game. More details below…

Too Cute for Words

It totally doesn’t matter what the actual activity going on in this picture is, it’s just too cute for words…or a caption.

For more details on the shot…

Dynamo 2, Pachuca 0: The Fights

After the Dynamo won the Superliga Semifinal…well, let’s say Pachuca went down swinging. The events on the field are documented below by Bernardo Fallas over at The Chron. But the fights weren’t just on the field. As my co-author and I were filing out of the stadium, we saw a fight of our break out amongst some of the fans. I snapped these shots on my iPhone…it was happening pretty fast, please excuse the image quality.
Continue after the break to see the photos.

Crap. Forgot to put S. Korean keeper on my team.

So, I have an MLS Fantasy team (gotta get to the MLS Cup somehow – I figure I can still move up from 2000th place to take it all). When starting my fantasy team, I noticed that if the goalkeeper scores, you get 25 points when you only get 10 for a forward/midfielder goal and 15 if a defender scores (no, own goals don’t count). But I was thinking, when do goalkeepers ever score? There are the cases when down by 7 goals, last 5 minutes of the game, EVERYONE pushes forward, but how often do those really happen?  The likelihood of the goalkeeper scoring from their usual area of play is slim. But Jung Sung-Ryong, keeper for the South Korean Olympic Team, did just that against Cote D’Ivoire (Ivory Coast – who the US team plays July 30 at 6:30am ET). So I missed out on 25 points.  For sure that would have put me into the lead (or at least up a few hundred spots…) [Before anyone asks, no, MLS Fantasy team has only MLS players.] In case you missed it, it is a must watch. And hopefully will teach all goalkeepers an important lesson – don’t play too far off your line. Bad things happen. And then you have to try not to laugh on camera, after initially being mad of course, that you allowed such a stupid goal.

Letting it all hang out

Today’s SoccerAmericaDaily has a humorous piece about just how far an aspiring play would go, and how far he’d ask his girlfriend to go, in order to get noticed.

Player bares bare girlfriend to get tryout

Types of Hot: Rough Hot

Alright, “Rough Hot” could be interpreted many ways, and in the case of Clint Dempsey, I mean them all. Not always pristine. A little bit of temper. Very physical play on the pitch. Sometimes need a translator when he gives interviews. I imagine (unfortunately don’t KNOW) a lot of throwing around (the fun kind), not a lot of words (and those spoken a little rough), and a lot of sweat. Sigh. So while he has abandoned the MLS for Fulham in the Premier League, as a regular on the US MNT, we here at NHB could never abandon him. So thank you Clint Dempsey for exemplifying Rough Hot.

 

clint lifestyle, originally uploaded by deucedempsey.

Hottest Straight Man Alive Up for Goal of the Week

The Hottest Straight Man Alive (aka Brian Mullan) is up for Sierra Mist Goal of the Week (vote now) for his pretty goal against DC United. If it helps make up your mind, that goal was with his left foot (his weak side, if he has one). Other nominees: Kenny Cooper (I feel like I could have stopped that), Abe Thompson (that one actually was pretty good), Steven Lenhart (not bad, but then he got a red card), and Jason Garey (a goal actually off a keeper’s kick). Who you voting for, and why? Or more importantly, why not vote for the Hottest Straight Man Alive?

Do you know the way to San Jose? Just Follow Alvarez

There has been so much speculation about Cooper and Toja leaving FC Dallas, but who is out first? Arturo Alvarez. Alvarez has been traded to San Jose for allocation money and a first round pic in the 2009 SuperDraft. Sound familiar? That is what Houston traded to San Jose for Kai Kamara. So the Houston native is being sent to San Jose for items that Houston provided. Huh.

 

Alvarez is traded to San Jose. Was it the horrible hair that was the last straw? (Photo: Getty Images by MLS)

Olympians Experience Hong Kong, Kinda

The US Soccer team is training in Hong Kong before their match against the Ivory Coast. They decided to experience the local culture…at Starbucks? At least they saw the harbor before being sucked in by the coffee mogul (which I frequent daily btw).

 

Olympians experiencing Hong Kong, at Starbucks. (USSoccer YNT-blog)

Confidence much?

I think having confidence is a good thing, but there is such a thing as too much confidence.  When is the bar set too high? I think Luiz Felipe Scolari, new manager of Chelsea in the Premier League, not only set that bar too high, but he went ahead and jumped on over it into crazy. Evidently, he believes that Chelsea has the team and is poised to win “the quadruple” (the Premier League, the FA Cup, Carling Cup and Champions League) next year. Last year they won…um…none of these, but came close several times.  This year is their year. Why does that sound so familiar? Oh right, that’s what the Revolution have been saying each year…

Happy Birthday to my Dynamo Hottie to Watch

 

Chris Wondolowski celebrates goal at the Pan Pacific Championships in Hawaii. (Photo: Reuters)

Today seemed like a good day to combine two goals: 

1) Happy Birthday to Chris Wondolowski

2) Mention that I have a hottie to watch on pretty much every team in the MLS.  

I can watch games for the beauty and fun of it, but it’s always a little more fun to have a person in particular to follow along the way.  I think about half are married (I’m sure to hussies that are no good for them), but luckily, they don’t have to be single to be my hottie to watch. So for now for the Dynamo, it’s Chris Wondolowski. Wondolowski has been with the Dynamo since their beginning in Houston, and was with the original Quakes before that. Sometimes called by fans the “King of the Reserves,” he has led the reserve team in goals the past three years. He is a regular substitute with a few starts this year and last. More importantly, he fits the bill of tall, dark and handsome. With a really sexy smile. Happy Birthday, sugar.

Hottest Straight Man Alive

 

Mullan. Sigh. (Photo: Thanks kbhall93)

I don’t know if it’s gay culture or what, but a lot, and I mean A LOT, of gay men are super hot. You can almost see why some women might attempt to “change” them. I’ve learned to accept that they are fabulous as is (like my wonderful co-author) and still amazingly fun to look at. However, there are those men that are inexplicably hot and pretty confirmed straight. Enter Brian Mullan. Evidently he has a wife and two children (though that doesn’t necessarily rule out homosexuality), he doesn’t keep his eyebrows perfect (like all men should), and he doesn’t use much product in his hair (but I don’t think he needs to). But all that makes him more likely to be straight, and thus the hottest straight man alive.

 

 

Mullan, aka Hottest Straight Man alive, can argue with me anytime. Assuming I could get out a coherent thought. (Photo: AP by Bob Levey)

Waibel Matches NFL Record

Now you all are probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about; this blog is about football/futbol/soccer, not American football.  And you would be right.  But this is proof of why soccer is really the beautiful game and why soccer players are in fact amazing athletes.  Craig Waibel of the Dynamo recently went to pre-season Houston Texans practice, and with tips from kicker Kris Brown, kicked field goals to sponsor kids from local hospitals to attend the next Dyanamo SuperLiga game against Pachuca Tuesday night.  In all, he hit 10/14 goals, sending 30 kids to the game.  But how is this connected to the post title?  Waibel hit a goal from 63 yards out, matching the NFL record distance. Admittedly, there were no defenders rushing him, and the weather didn’t seem too bad (not like snowing in Greenbay – which forcing people to be outside in that should be illegal), but then, this is Waibel. As a closeted Waibel Warrior myself (and no, I won’t admit that in public because I hate cutesy names), I feel like 300 pound defenders would mean nothing to him. But since I have already mentioned the Houston Texans, I do have to admit that Kris Brown is pretty hot (at least in a hat – I’m reserving judgement on his hair).

Update: Oh! Found video from Bernardo Fallas over at www.chron.com. This is why Waibel is great: the kids were going to the game regardless, he was just working out a way for someone else to pay for it. Sweet.

Waibel kicking field goals with the help of Texans hottie Kris Brown (not the singer). (Photo: Forever Orange)

Olympians Took My Advice, Kinda

I mentioned in a previous post that the US Men’s Olympic Team was in route to Hong Kong, and that they shared the flight with about half the US Swim Team.  One might hope the two teams could share training tips, and that the end result would be barely-there shorts for the soccer team. Turns out they did learn something, but it involves the long tights rather than the short shorts. Sigh. [Really, they are compression pants to reduce swelling in flight; so they had them on before meeting the swimmers. But I fear the swimmers might have validated the style, and that would be unfortunate for all.]

 

Stuart Holden and Brad Guzan rockin' (yes, I'm sometimes delusional) the...um...leggings. (Photo: USSoccer YNT-blog)