Dane Richards Shares the Love

Dane Richards scores against the Houston Dynamo on Saturday, and then what does he do? A celebration dance? Jumps on the back, or the front, of a teammate? Pulls his shirt over his head, revealing ripped abs? No. He gives two high fives to teammates, mainly so he doesn’t leave them hanging, then runs over to the side to hug…the waterboy (really more like waterman, but you get the point). Way to share the love and celebrate with those that keep you from collapsing of dehydration. So my new career (since stretching DeRosario is looking like it might not work out) will be watergirl. Bring on the hugs.

Kevin Hartman Writes Children’s Books

For real. I always wondered what players did in their off time.  It seems Hartman, goalkeeper of the Kansas City Wizards, wrote a children’s book about, well, goalkeeping. Or rather a farm cat becoming a goalkeeper, but you get the point. The book is “Boots Saves the Day,” (kinda cute play on words) and can be purchased online.  Hartman even gives readings (evidently has done two so far).  I wonder if he got any tips from Bruce Arena before he moved on to his new job about speaking in public. Even now if I have trouble sleeping, I just play a little Arena commentating from a Wizards game and I’m out in 5 minutes.

 

Kevin Hartman at a recent book signing. The kids look...um...we'll say enthralled. Kinda.

Sierra Mist GOW Thoughts

Another wonderful week of soccer has past, and now we should vote on the Sierra Mist Goal of the Week.  To help those of you who will never watch all videos, I think you should vote for Ricardo Clark.  I’m going to claim that it is just a coincidence that he happens to play for the Dynamo. But here are my thoughts on all of them.

Brian Carroll (Columbus Crew): nod for first goal in this MLS season, but that’s about it.

Jeff Cunningham (FC Dallas): nod for 100th MLS goal, but then he clumsily falls on the goalkeeper.

Ronnie O’Brien (San Jose Earthquakes): One touch over Matt Reis (who I feel is just behind, in my non-biased judgement, the best damn goalkeeper in the league, Pat Onstad) – so not bad

Ricardo Clark (Houston Dynamo): Beautiful. First of the season. 25 yards out (actually remember being at the game and thinking, what the hell is he doing from way out here…oh…scoring a goal).

Mike Magee (New York Red Bulls): Beats defender in foot race to the ball (good), but not a super exciting shot (no need since he beat the defenders).

Beckham Down on Knives

According to the BBC, Beckham an other British “footballers” have launched a campaign to decrease knife-related crimes in the UK called It Doesn’t Have to Happen.  Guns have been outlawed; now strides are being made against knives.  I like it.

The Conclusion: Feilhaber to Denmark

Well, it’s over…now we know: Benny has signed with Aarhus Denmark.

Feilhaber Coming Home?

An all out Benny Feilhaber love-fest has broken out here at NHB, and so I’m sure news from the incredibly well-sourced Soccer By Ives that soccer powerhouse and hottie is in talks with MLS and may soon be returning will be met with much adulation by our readers.

Feilhaber in talks with MLS, could wind up with Revs:

Photo by ISIphotos.com

Details below.

Dynamo stomp the Crew

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Pictured here: Mullan walks all over a Crew member the way Houston walked all over Columbus. Our ball-handling was clean and polished; our Boswell-led defense was down-right cerebral; and our entire team (particularly during the first half) had their eyes open for potential goals, captains of opportunity (rather than formulaic). [Please excuse brevity. & typos; typed this while walking to the car.]

MLS Fails to Play-Dead in Semifinals; Mex teams Respond with Punches

After the New England Revolution (MLS) beat Atlante (FMF) last night in a SuperLiga semifinal, Atlante behaved even worse and picked an even bigger fight than Pachuca did when they lost to the Houston Dynamo in the other semifinal, Tuesday night. It’s inexcusable that a Mexican (or any) side would do this after one of the semifinal matches, but that it happened after both is ridiculous! Soccer broadcaster and blogger, Kartik Krishnaiyer, has an interesting (albeit somewhat objectionable) analysis of why it happened.

BREAKING: Blanco suspended for 2 yrs from US Open Cup

The US Soccer Federation adjudication and discipline panel has ruled that the Chicago Fire’s DP and leading man, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, has been banned for 2 years from US Open Cup play as punishment for his conduct at the July 8 quarterfinal game. More details below…

Hottest Straight Man Alive Up for Goal of the Week

The Hottest Straight Man Alive (aka Brian Mullan) is up for Sierra Mist Goal of the Week (vote now) for his pretty goal against DC United. If it helps make up your mind, that goal was with his left foot (his weak side, if he has one). Other nominees: Kenny Cooper (I feel like I could have stopped that), Abe Thompson (that one actually was pretty good), Steven Lenhart (not bad, but then he got a red card), and Jason Garey (a goal actually off a keeper’s kick). Who you voting for, and why? Or more importantly, why not vote for the Hottest Straight Man Alive?

Do you know the way to San Jose? Just Follow Alvarez

There has been so much speculation about Cooper and Toja leaving FC Dallas, but who is out first? Arturo Alvarez. Alvarez has been traded to San Jose for allocation money and a first round pic in the 2009 SuperDraft. Sound familiar? That is what Houston traded to San Jose for Kai Kamara. So the Houston native is being sent to San Jose for items that Houston provided. Huh.

 

Alvarez is traded to San Jose. Was it the horrible hair that was the last straw? (Photo: Getty Images by MLS)

Happy Birthday to my Dynamo Hottie to Watch

 

Chris Wondolowski celebrates goal at the Pan Pacific Championships in Hawaii. (Photo: Reuters)

Today seemed like a good day to combine two goals: 

1) Happy Birthday to Chris Wondolowski

2) Mention that I have a hottie to watch on pretty much every team in the MLS.  

I can watch games for the beauty and fun of it, but it’s always a little more fun to have a person in particular to follow along the way.  I think about half are married (I’m sure to hussies that are no good for them), but luckily, they don’t have to be single to be my hottie to watch. So for now for the Dynamo, it’s Chris Wondolowski. Wondolowski has been with the Dynamo since their beginning in Houston, and was with the original Quakes before that. Sometimes called by fans the “King of the Reserves,” he has led the reserve team in goals the past three years. He is a regular substitute with a few starts this year and last. More importantly, he fits the bill of tall, dark and handsome. With a really sexy smile. Happy Birthday, sugar.

Waibel Matches NFL Record

Now you all are probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about; this blog is about football/futbol/soccer, not American football.  And you would be right.  But this is proof of why soccer is really the beautiful game and why soccer players are in fact amazing athletes.  Craig Waibel of the Dynamo recently went to pre-season Houston Texans practice, and with tips from kicker Kris Brown, kicked field goals to sponsor kids from local hospitals to attend the next Dyanamo SuperLiga game against Pachuca Tuesday night.  In all, he hit 10/14 goals, sending 30 kids to the game.  But how is this connected to the post title?  Waibel hit a goal from 63 yards out, matching the NFL record distance. Admittedly, there were no defenders rushing him, and the weather didn’t seem too bad (not like snowing in Greenbay – which forcing people to be outside in that should be illegal), but then, this is Waibel. As a closeted Waibel Warrior myself (and no, I won’t admit that in public because I hate cutesy names), I feel like 300 pound defenders would mean nothing to him. But since I have already mentioned the Houston Texans, I do have to admit that Kris Brown is pretty hot (at least in a hat – I’m reserving judgement on his hair).

Update: Oh! Found video from Bernardo Fallas over at www.chron.com. This is why Waibel is great: the kids were going to the game regardless, he was just working out a way for someone else to pay for it. Sweet.

Waibel kicking field goals with the help of Texans hottie Kris Brown (not the singer). (Photo: Forever Orange)

A Tribute to The Offside Rules

This post is a tribute to The Offside Rules who today posted a shirtless video post of DeRo “for the ladies and homosexualist”. Well as a practicing ‘homosexualist’ myself and on behalf of my co-author (who falls into the lady category) we say, “Thank you and bravo.” Click here to see: DeRo.  The gesture is much appreciated.

The Side-show to the All-Star Game

The side show of last night’s MLS All-Start game was clearly: Rob Stone. Here’s the clip if you missed it (or if you want to see it again).